Adam Huening
October 06, 2006 04:00 pm
—
Somewhere after the wedding ceremony and before the reception, the photographers' cameras whirl. A man and woman team, both with multiple, long-lens cameras draped around their necks like soldiers ready to enter a war zone, pose and point the bride and groom. Sarah Hammans and Mark Cady, now Mr. and Mrs., watched the directions, a little fatigued, and moved to the spots on the lawn at the Indianapolis Museum of Art to stand in the best light provided by the golden rays of the setting September sun.
The happy couple held their poses for the photographer, whipped up smiles of joy, then the camera clicked a few times before the photographer lowered his lens and they relaxed. "What next?" the shutterbug asks.
"Let's do one with both families," Mark suggested. The woman photographer jetted off to round up any blood relative who may be milling around the museum or inside the Deer-Zink Events Pavilion enjoying a glass of Merlot and vegetable spring roll hors d'ouevres. The families streamed out to the lawn to take their place around the bride and groom, the reason they have all come to this place, in front of the magnificent fountain at the museum.
The parents took their place by their child's side and everyone stared in the direction of the camera. Then Mark looked over at his bride. A smudge, a speck of dust or an eyelash too small for any camera lens to capture rested on her cheek. He reached over as she turned her head, to remove the slightest imperfection that may stain his bride's special day. For a moment there were no cameras or family or friends, there was just a man and wife in front of a fountain.
Weddings used to be a matter of formality, with strict traditions and months of the year. Now, however, experts say the traditions are ala carte and the only things that matter are love, the bride and her fairytale wedding.
"Strawberry Fields Forever"
Sarah and Mark took their time planning their wedding. She wanted it to be perfect from the moment he proposed on a clear winter's day in Strawberry Fields, New York City. The section of Central Park, referenced by one of their favorite bands, The Beatles, felt like the perfect place for an engagement to be born according to Mark, even if it was born from the frozen earth. So, when planning their wedding, favoritism, not tradition, won out.
Due to college graduation and new jobs, Sarah and Mark set a date for a mid-September wedding, but they also had their personal feelings in mind.
"It's our favorite time of the year, that transition from summer into fall. The weather is cooler and the evening is beautiful. It's just perfect," Sarah said a few days before the wedding with both nervousness and excitement apparent in her voice.
While tradition denotes June as the month where young couples in love step to the altar to take their vows, the modern bride is not restricted to such stringent planning, according to Bill and Ginny Rethlake, a brother and sister-in-law team who own a bridal shop, Escapades, in Greensburg.
"(The wedding planning) depends somewhat on money, but primarily, these days, it's the bride's fairytale," Bill, a certified event planner, said while he cut swaths of fabric at his workbench in the back of his shop. "You use the time of year to help picks colors. Spring is all your pastel colors. Summer is more bright colors and fall you have a lot of dark."
For Sarah, the date was the most important part of the planning, that moment when the perfect night for which she would prepare for the next year or so would take place. To the bride and groom, the date was a natural part of which they are and held symbolism they associated for this ceremony they would remember forever.
"Even without planning a wedding and just living my life, fall has always had a sense of clarity. I feel renewed. I know that is traditionally spring, but I always anticipated it. It's the time of the year I feel whole," she said.
"Something in Her Style that shows..."
With tradition thrust to the wind, brides have little guidelines to follow, but Bill Rethlake has his own suggestions.
"The wedding is based around her gown; the colors, everything," he said. "I tell my brides, buy the gown first. After that get the tuxedo and the bridesmaids gowns."
Once Sarah and Mark set a date, they had to find the right style to suit their personal taste as well as the time of season. However, once again, the tradition of a white gown is not mandatory.
"The whole tradition no longer holds true. White is out the window. It's what looks good on you that matters," Ginny Rethlake noted in between helping brides peruse the racks for wedding dresses and ordering prom dresses for the upcoming high school dance season. "Brides have more leeway to explore themes and create their ideal wedding."
Ginny added brides have been choosing more dramatic themes for their weddings lately, such as a Roaring '20s or Renaissance wedding.
Ginny noted gowns come in a multitude of styles and colors, especially around the trim. According to a David's Bridal Fall press release, this idea holds true. In 2006, brides are attracting to two styles in particular, "one evoking a regal, Victorian feel, boasting graceful styles fit for an estate wedding, while the other epitomizes city chic, incorporating vintage styling with an updated twist."
Bill said he always offers a bit of advice to brides when purchasing a wedding gown, regardless of the color, style or theme.
"Pick one out yourself. Let your mom pick one out, the maid of honor pick one and then let the shop suggest one. I say this because what looks good on the rack will not necessarily look good on you, and what you might think won't look good, may look great," he said.
While both Ginny and Bill suggest picking a gown that fits the season, it is still anything goes. For Sarah, it was all about finding the right one. She decided to stick with the traditional white but went through a number of styles before striking gold with the perfect dress.
"I have a strapless gown since we're going to be inside, so I didn't think I would need a scarf or shawl in case I got cold. Besides, if I do get cold, I have Mark to keep me warm," Sarah said.
She selected a thin veil and a long sweeping train to compliment her dress.
The next task was to find the perfect bride's maids dresses to compliment her gown.
Bill suggests, after picking colors, to allow the bride's maids to select their own gowns.
"The smart bride will give a swath of color to the bride's maids to find the right dress," he said.
Ginny noted, recently, brides have been more mindful of the colors they are picking in comparison to the past.
"Back in the '70s, the bride's maids dresses had to match the punch and since most punches were made of sherbet and sprite, you had all those bright, hideous colors," she said.
Sarah and Mark selected beige and amethyst; rich colors that lend a sense of elegance and sophistication to their Fall nuptials.
"They're rich colors, our favorite colors, so we're sticking with that theme of favoritism," Sarah said.
"God Only Knows"
"We originally wanted to get married outdoors, but my dad told me, 'Sarah, if you do, the only day it will rain in September, will be your wedding day,'" Sarah said.
When having a wedding, one must plan for the weather, according to the Rethlakes. Once the bride determines the approximate number of people coming to the ceremony and the reception, they will have an idea of where to hold the event, they noted.
Again, traditional church weddings are no longer the status quo. People get married anywhere - the beach, at home, a city park or even on a boat in the middle of a lake. However, there is one mighty force to consider.
Weather, by nature, is unpredictable. Holding a wedding in the fall in Indiana, when rain becomes more frequent, can be a risky proposal. Especially if it is scheduled outside.
"This past week has not been the best in regards to weather. It was rainy, cloudy, and scary. The clouds are really scary, but it all worked out," Sarah said.
Under a beautiful blue sky with a few puffy clouds on a warm September Saturday, the wedding bells from the church rang. While the church is far more traditional than she would have ever guessed, Sarah and Mark decided the Christ Cathedral Church on the Circle in downtown Indianapolis was the place where they should exchange their vows.
"I never thought I would actually get married in a church," Sarah said. "When we thought about moving indoors, we looked at a lot of spaces and nothing really suited me."
Then, she remembered the cathedral downtown. When she was a child growing up in Noblesville, she did a lot of volunteer work there with the Episcopal Church. When she entered the cathedral, she felt a certain connection stemming from that time in her life.
"It felt like home," she said with fondness and sincerity in her voice.
So, in a stone cathedral with a brass roof worn green by time nestled amongst the towering glass and concrete skyscrapers of the city, Sarah and Mark made their pledges and united their lives with an exchange of rings and a kiss. And if you are one who believes in God, or that the weather is any indication of His blessing, then the warm blue sky and bright sun present on their wedding day showed His shining approval.
"We Could Dream This Night Away..."
With a wedding comes a reception, even if tradition is not of the utmost importance to the bride. According to Ginny, the reception, historically, was conceived as a sign of affluence for the bride's parents. Some receptions, she noted, could last for a week straight. However, in this modern world, few have the affluence or the time to throw such a gregarious spectacle. Regardless of the constraints, a wedding reception is meant to be the celebration of the event.
When considering a space, Bill added one should consider how many guests will be attendance and how much food they will need.
Again, Sarah never anticipated what would eventually be the location where guests and well wishers ate, drank and were merry in honor of the newlyweds.
"Originally, we thought we'd do everything in one place," Sarah said. "Then we went to a number of bridal shows and started looking at online resources."
Sarah, Mark and their parents looked for a number of locations before finding the right one - the Deer-Zink Events Pavilion at the Indianapolis Museum of Art.
"The IMA just reopened and when my mom and I walked in, I knew this was it. It was me," she said.
The Deer-Zink boasts a large open events room with high ceilings, various light settings, from soft, cozy and romantic to bright and sparkling, and a access to a plush, landscaped garden, a dazzling fountain and green lawn adorned with a sculpture rendered from a painting by Robert Indiana tailor-made for a wedding - a square fashioned from the word "LOVE."
Receptions, for the most part, tend to be more traditional than the ceremony. Again, however, variations can be made on the food, wine and traditions, such as the tossing of bouquet and the first dance, that become part of the individual celebration. All that matters, Ginny noted, is the bride and groom celebrates in the way they want, and the guests are treated to something special.
"There are Places I Remember..."
The night was coming to an end. Catering staff wheeled away cart after cart of empty bottles of fragrant wine. The dessert tray held a few lonely morsels of decadence and the music had slipped into
upbeat hip-hop for the revelers to express their joy and happiness on the dance floor.
Few guests remained, except for a few friends, the parents of the newlyweds and the bride and groom themselves. Sarah and Mark were still in the wedding clothes they chose for this day, although a tad less dressed up. Mark shook hands with guests as they left, his jacket off, tie removed and collar and shirt cuffs loosened. Sarah had left her train somewhere else as she wearily yet happily made a last circle around the room, giving and receiving hugs from those sharing in this moment.
Even though today's weddings are not necessarily mandated by tradition, the event is considered a success, according to Ginny, by how much fun the guests have. Although, the center of the moment is still on the bride and her groom, the guests' reaction to the celebration can be the ultimate compliment of the evening.
Tradition or not, weddings still hold weight in American society. Little girls still dream of the day they hold the hand of the man of their dreams and say 'I do.'
As Sarah took one last look at the room, a quiet smile comes over her face. She wrapped her fingers gently around her new husband's hand as they exited the building and entered their new life together, content the fairytale, at least for one night, came true.
Copyright © 1999-2008 cnhi, inc.
Photos
